and grow old wanting to get back to.
- John Ed Pearce
A Family Affair
Do you ever say to yourself, I must be crazy! This family is making me crazy! Do you feel alone in your family like you’re the only one that feels the way you do? Sometimes our family can make us feel worthless and frustrated and very alone. One would assume that in a family is where you should be able to find most of your support with endless amounts of unconditional love but for most that is not the case. Most people feel sad, depressed, anxious and even in extreme situations, suicidal.
Our family teaches us about relationships. Our first relationship is with our parents and if that isn’t a positive experience it can affect all of our future relationships including those of friends and partners. But just because you start off with negative models of relationship doesn’t mean you can never experience a healthy relationship on your own. In fact, many who come to therapy turn their whole experience of relationship into something very positive and rewarding.
If this is you…you might be surprised to find out that the one who is “sent” to therapy or who comes for help and/or the one who is singled out in the family as “the problem” is usually the most healthy person in the family trying to make a dysfunctional family work more functionally. One single family member is usually not the family problem; instead, it is usually the family as a whole that doesn’t work well together.
When one first comes to counseling, even if the family refuses to come, they are almost always relieved to learn that they are not the problem. We can teach you the skills necessary to cope within a difficult family situation and not feel erased or completely overwhelmed. It just takes some time and a little courage to feel more fulfilled and confident in every relationship in your life.