Deciding to get married is life changing. It may seem as simple as two people deciding to lovingly commit to support and bear witness to each other’s lives, but it is often not as simple as just that.

Deciding to get married typically involves family and friends from each partner. It can become an intersection of different cultures, religions, values, political beliefs, and more. Engaged couples may have to navigate discussions about sharing finances and housing. Future planning now weaves in both perspectives and dreams from each partner.

Many couples decide to have a wedding to celebrate their union. Weddings, however simple or extravagant, can make us look at difficult parts of our stories. The guest list and invitations can lead us to look at reasons why certain people cannot come to the wedding. Emotional cutoffs, finances, long distance, illness, and death are just some of the reasons that may prevent people from joining. Reflecting on any of these relationships may also trigger different emotions. Boundaries that have been established for protection and safety may be tested by feelings of guilt or pressure from other family members to include people with whom we are not comfortable.

Family and friends may have expectations and opinions about the wedding. Our visions about the day can come under scrutiny. Relationship dynamics may remind us of difficulties with communication. Feelings of guilt, or fear of disappointing others may keep us up at night. Worries about people from different chapters of our lives meeting may cause anxiety and fear about how we are perceived. Will we be judged by friends and family?

Navigating the planning alongside our daily lives may make us feel overwhelmed, irritable, angry, tense, fatigued. Do we have coping skills in place? How do we handle our support systems at times becoming stressors? Therapy can help. Therapy can support you in understanding your feelings about embarking on this life transition. Learning how to identify feelings, communicate needs, and set boundaries are just some of the tools that can help you take this next big step.