We all have different ideas about how we think our lives will turn out. Many of us see this to fruition. For a lot of us, there is a lengthy period of uncertainty about how things will come together. This is especially difficult for women who are seeking that life partner with the desire to start a family, and just haven’t found them yet.

Years of dating and relationships with expiration dates can be exhausting. Meeting new people over and over again requires bravery, open mindedness, and hope. Seeing friends and family find their significant others can be difficult. On the one hand, there can be happiness for those loved ones but on the other, quiet jealousy, or sadness about not having connected with a match yourself. Being invited to engagement parties, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, sprinkles, baby birthdays, baptisms, etc. can be hard to bear. While there may be genuine celebratory sentiments, internally women may be feeling very differently. These milestone reminders punctuate the grief for what has not yet transpired.

It’s often not as simple as not finding a life partner. Finding a partner can be tied to the emotional and financial capacities to be able to have a family. Not having a partner can impact the ability to buy a home. In sum, it can lead to the discovery that something that seemed like it was a given during our formative years is potentially out of reach or a very different version of what we hoped for. It’s about our identity, the one that has unfolded and the one that we seek.

Who can you talk to about these feelings? Are the people that you can talk to able to “get it” and relate? Are people frequently asking about your dating life or reminding you of things that you are already hyper aware of? Where do those feelings go? Do you ignore, avoid, or bury them? Do you ruminate and spiral? Feeling unfulfilled in our personal lives can impact our motivation and performance at work. We can feel disconnected from our relationships and even isolate from them. A therapist can offer a supportive environment to examine your emotional health. Therapy can strengthen your coping skills and support system. A therapist can help you identify your strengths and areas you want to strengthen. You don’t have to go through this alone.